i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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