Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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