I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Drunk is not a location!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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