He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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