I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
