We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
