ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
