The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
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Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
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Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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