I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
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she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
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somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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