woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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