so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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