I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
