The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize