I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
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Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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