worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
