no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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