so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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