the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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