Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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