chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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