8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
