i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Terrible idea I love it
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
