what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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