I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
