that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
