My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
