I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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