we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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