thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
