last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
