ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I AM VODKA MAN
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
