Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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