just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
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