M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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