am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just tell him i said nine months
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
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im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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