i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
