my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
it's great music for shaving your balls
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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