he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
