You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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