you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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