I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize