we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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