Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
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