mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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