Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
