You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
