id be glad to
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
