Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
