I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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