Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
time to smoke my breakfast
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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