Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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