I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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