roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
