i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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