Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
