Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
