Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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