I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
