YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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