Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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