I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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